First, if what I have written lately has seemed a little gloomy, I'm sorry for that. I try to use what I read as a reflection of how my life is and recently it has become extremely frustrating. The gender clinic has been one issue along with trying to find work in charity shops. Today has seen a major improvement with the voluntary work and I'll get to that a little later.
My original plan for today was a quick trip into town first thing and then a walk along the river before retiring for home. It was all to avoid the Easter crowds but a friend of mine was in town mid-morning and wanted a chat. So the walk along the river was done first and this was extremely pleasant. The sun was trying to poke through the clouds and apart form that biting easterly wind, it was quite warm at times. One thing evident from the hedges and banks is that spring is slowly happening. There are buds on the trees and the small animals are much more active. A little more warmth and spring will probably explode into life.
We made it into town and the next plan was to pop into another charity shop to try to inquire about the possibility of working there. The whole voluntary work situation has played on my mind recently, especially after the failed trial I had in a shop on Thursday. It has got to a point of desperation and I think it is down to a couple of things. First, I am a practical person and I want to do something more physical than my work with Samaritans. After going from an active job in a sawmills to nothing, I am feeling the lack of activity is getting to me. I also feel a little isolated which is coupled with a feeling of not being part of society. I feel I am not contributing (even though I am caring full time for my partner) and this troubles me. I see people off to work of a morning and feel like I am not part of any particular social group because of that.
We called into the shop in question and after asking, we found that the person I needed to speak to had popped out for something. Again, another hurdle in the way and my feelings of frustration intensified! We went off to meet my friend and found the town centre extremely busy. The crowds were quite phenomenal and pushing the wheelchair was quite hard going. I have often joked about attaching some blades on to the hubs to try to help clear a path and today that would have been quite useful!
After a coffee and a chat with said friend, we parted company and off we went to the charity shop again. The lady I needed to speak was there this time and after being shown into the back, was taken in very enthusiastically. I was asked what I was looking to do and I replied I had no specific wants and would like to have a varied role. The lady I was speaking to was very friendly and accepting, I did explain I had to go to the gender clinic from time to time. The shop itself is a little different and prides itself for being unique in it's layout which I have to agree with. She talked about how they sometimes have themed days where everyone dresses in the theme of a particular era. Now this was starting to sound like my cup of tea! I mentioned about my work trial and said one thing I felt missing was that there was no camaraderie, she replied they have plenty of that and loads of banter.
I gave her my details and arranged a trial on Tuesday. It's all quite laid back and I have to be in from 11.00 and leave when I wish. She insisted on saying hello to Mandy and we chatted together for another 15 minutes. I feel very enthusiastic about it and am really looking forward to Tuesday unlike last week when I had a real dread about the trial.
I had a much happier attitude leaving there and even with the crowds of Taunton, I had a spring in my step I haven't had in some time. We picked up a bite for lunch and walked to Vivary to eat it. The park was pleasant and again, it's starting to look like spring is getting here.
So a much more positive day and I feel like there is something I can get enthusiastic about in the future.