Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Stares and Smiles

Two walks in two days in Taunton has thrown an interesting contradiction.

Yesterday, I noticed I was getting more looks than normal. They were a mix of glances, smirks and stares. This is something I have had to deal with over the years and I just keep my best smile on my face and get on with it. Sometimes, I feel a lot of anger about it because what right does anyone have to judge me on the streets. I live my own life and am quite happy doing it. In contrast, I often feel pity for those narrow minded people. They must live such sheltered and boring lives that a transsexual such as me shocks them!

Today was a completely different matter. I don't think I have ever had so many smiles on the couple hours we were out. It's rare that I don't get a smile at some stage when out but today they were uncountable. It's when I get these smiles, I realise that I must be doing something right. I have obviously been read and this isn't an issue, but there is an acceptance in those smiles as well as a compliment and it makes my life seem more right and worthwhile.

So what was the difference? Was it my choice of coat? I had my red fleece on today whereas yesterday was my lilac one instead. Was it the weather? Today was fantastically sunny  with yesterday overcast. Was it the day of the week? Yesterday being Monday and, well you know what today is!

Perhaps I'll never know why days are different but I have collected up all of today's positives in readiness for the harder days, like last week and 3 youths that decided to throw a barrage of abuse at me.

Lucy x

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