Saturday, 25 June 2016

Reflecting on my Blog

I said that I would be back at the end of June to look at returning to blogging, and here I am!

Initially I was going to have a thorough tidy up of the posts I have made so far with the intention of removing some of it. Some of the material I have written is good and useful but there were perhaps one or two posts that were written at times when I was not at my best. My thoughts were to have a good look through and delete those posts that were not so good.

I have spent a little time revisiting some of the very early material that I have written and found myself very surprised at how rich and real it still is. I approached it expecting to be slightly embarrassed at how awful it would be and yet some of those posts in 2013 felt really honest and profound. 

It is interesting the language I used then and compare it to now. One term that really stands out is the word transsexual. Back then I used to use it all the time and regularly referred to myself as such. The last couple of years has found the word falling out of favour big time as it is not really an accurate term to describe any transperson. I also feel my own thinking has moved towards the belief that I am simply a woman. It has taken the full transitioning for me to exercise that belief, even though I was sure of it all the time.

I got through the whole of what I had written for 2013 and then there was a gap. When I was starting to proceed to surgery in 2014, I restarted again followed by a another gap whilst my surgery was put on hold. Once the surgery was back on track, I started yet again and produced the largest amount of material in the nine months before, during and after my surgery.

There is some material in amongst that large section that I could change or remove. To be honest though, it is not worth my time in going back and reading through the whole lot just for that exercise. I am relatively pleased with what I have written over the entirety of my blog and have no qualms about leaving it all in place for the time being. It has been a useful medium over the last few years, and prior to that when I had my HTML website. Occasionally I stumble across someone who has accessed my blog for resource purposes and this also lead me to keep it in place.

My life is again changing over the next few months with me starting at college to form my new career. Up to that time, I feel that there is again a desire to write. I feel that eighteen months on from my surgery, I can give a perspective of what life is like for a formerly transperson. How day to day activities are for someone who is congruent in their gender.